In My World

At Carthage, it takes 1, he just holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

At Marquette, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

At Ripon, it takes 3, one to change the light bulb and 2 to get behind him when he drops it and has to bend over.

At St Norbert, it takes none. They don’t screw.

At Superior, none. Superior doesn’t have electricity yet.

At UW-Eau Claire, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix drinks and three to find the perfect “J.Crew” outfit to wear for the occasion.

At UW-La Crosse, it takes 1, but it takes him 6 years.

At UW-Madison, it takes five. One to screw in the bulb and four to figure out how to get high off the old one.

At UW-Milwaukee, none, UWM looks better in the dark.

At UW-Oshkosh, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to phone a friend at UW Green Bay to get instructions.

At UW-Parkside, none. All the students live at home so mommy and daddy change the light bulbs.

At UW-Platteville, it takes 5. One to change the light bulb and 4 to hold the sheep still while he’s on the ladder.

At UW-Stevens Point, it takes seven and each one gets four credit hours for it.

At UW-Stout, it takes eight. One to change it and 7 to bitch about how they wouldn’t have gone to Eau Claire even if they could have gotten in.

At UW-Whitewater, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in, nine to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

How many grad students does it take to change a bulb? Just one, but it takes three-and-one-half years.

How does a professor change a light bulb?
He holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.

How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a second year subject.

How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.

How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
“Will this question be in the final examination?”