In My World

Every year, I tend to enjoy myself with some lighthearted pranks/jokes to get everyone in the mood for Spring. Come on, it’s April Fools Day for a reason. I took it on to myself to prank a few friends online while I was at work. Read for yourself.

[10:18:16 AM] Victim #1: Hey there w00terz
[10:18:31 AM] Me: hello
[10:18:34 AM] Victim #1: Sup?
[10:20:33 AM] Me: not much
[10:20:44 AM] Me: my mom killed herself last night
[10:20:57 AM] Me: if you think that’s something.
[10:22:05 AM] Victim #1: Really?
[10:22:23 AM] Victim #1: Thats so sad!
[10:22:54 AM] Me: yea
[10:23:04 AM] Me: my ex is pregnate too
[10:23:06 AM] Me: what a day
[10:23:22 AM] Victim #1: Err, pregnent with your child?
[10:23:38 AM] Me: as she says
[10:25:10 AM] Victim #1: Oh, wow… Woot, that sucks.
[10:26:43 AM] Me: you know what’s even worse?
[10:27:21 AM] Victim #1: What?
[10:28:07 AM] Me: APRIL FOOLS
[10:29:06 AM] Victim #1: >.>
[10:29:09 AM] Victim #1: You’re a bastard
[10:29:12 AM] Victim #1: BASTARD

[10:05:42 AM] Me: my gf is pregnate =\
[10:09:32 AM] Victim #2: oh man!
[10:09:45 AM] Me: well
[10:09:48 AM] Me: she’s my gf now
[10:09:54 AM] Me: what other choice do i have?
[10:10:05 AM] Victim #2: wow–I’m sorry. . .
[10:10:20 AM] Me: she told me she tested positive for HIV 2 months ago
[10:10:27 AM] Victim #2: !!!!
[10:10:31 AM] Victim #2: oh my god
[10:10:56 AM] Victim #2: sweetie, I wish that I could console you in any way possible…
[10:11:56 AM] Victim #2: are you okay?
[10:12:05 AM] Victim #2: I know that may be a stupid question, but. . .
[10:12:33 AM] Me: WELL
[10:12:37 AM] Me: i just found out today
[10:12:54 AM] Victim #2: about both things?
[10:13:04 AM] Me: yea
[10:13:18 AM] Victim #2: I’m guessing that there wasn’t any protection used…?
[10:13:34 AM] Me: she told me she was clean
[10:13:52 AM] Me: i didn’t know she was a virgin too
[10:13:53 AM] Victim #2: go get tested… right now
[10:14:02 AM] Me: i mean, she was… erm… you know…
[10:14:19 AM] Victim #2: wait, she’s a virgin? huh? I’m confused…
[10:14:49 AM] Me: no
[10:14:50 AM] Me: was
[10:14:52 AM] Me: WAS
[10:14:58 AM] Victim #2: until you
[10:15:00 AM] Me: before me
[10:15:07 AM] Me: which is weird
[10:15:11 AM] Victim #2: okay, so how is she HIV positive?
[10:15:16 AM] Me: exactly
[10:15:25 AM] Me: i think she lied about that virgin part =\
[10:15:33 AM] Me: =(
[10:15:43 AM] Victim #2: I would assume so, unless she’s very confused about her HIV results
[10:16:00 AM] Victim #2: and I am more angry right now than I believe I ever have been
[10:16:33 AM] Me: why?
[10:16:47 AM] Me: how stupid i am
[10:16:48 AM] Victim #2: BECAUSE!!!!! what the fuck is wrong with the people in this world?!!
[10:17:19 AM] Victim #2: not you–if she knew she was HIV positive, then she is killing people, intentionally
[10:17:30 AM] Victim #2: I think that’s the most disgusting form of murder that there is
[10:17:49 AM] Me: you know what hurts more?
[10:17:53 AM] Victim #2: ?
[10:17:57 AM] Me: APRIL FOOLS
[10:18:04 AM] Me: i love you hun [10:18:07 AM] Victim #2: I hate you
[10:18:11 AM] Victim #2: haha
[10:18:15 AM] Victim #2: you really got me going
[10:18:20 AM] Victim #2: I nearly had a panic attack
[10:18:30 AM] Victim #2: I hate April Fools day
[10:18:36 AM] Victim #2: I’m a sucker, what can I say
[10:18:51 AM] Victim #2: and you’re laughing at me for my sympathy
[10:18:54 AM] Me: no
[10:18:58 AM] Me: i kinda felt bad
[10:18:58 AM] Victim #2: wow, I’m pathetic
[10:19:26 AM] Victim #2: don’t feel bad!!! holy shit, I was about to grab a plane to wherever you were so I could console you!!!
[10:19:51 AM] Me: that’s why i love you.
[10:19:51 AM] Victim #2: wow–thank you
[10:19:53 AM] Victim #2: haha
[10:19:59 AM] Me: because you care so much
[10:20:07 AM] Victim #2: now my guard will be up for the rest of the day
[10:20:38 AM] Victim #2: I do care!! holy shit, that was the last thing that I expected and man, you really got me!! My heart was breaking for you!!
[10:20:52 AM] Victim #2: I was nearly in tears!
[10:21:10 AM] Me: i’m so sorry =\
[10:21:20 AM] Victim #2: it’s okay–haha
[10:21:27 AM] Me: i did fall down and break my leg
[10:21:32 AM] Victim #2: I can appreciate the humor, once I know it’s humor
[10:21:43 AM] Victim #2: see now I’m not going to believe a damn word you say. . haha
[10:22:14 AM] Me: lol
[10:22:26 AM] Me: honestly now, i failed my C++ (programming) test
[10:22:34 AM] Me: and well, you just made it better
[10:22:39 AM] Me: i have friends like you
[10:22:40 AM] Victim #2: la la la, I don’t hear you
[10:23:41 AM] Me: no really
[10:23:44 AM] Me: just saying thank you
[10:23:45 AM] Me: [10:23:48 AM] Me: for being a friend
[10:24:07 AM] Victim #2: anytime, man, anytime
[10:24:30 AM] Victim #2: I’m going to take a valium…
[10:24:31 AM] Victim #2: haha
[10:24:37 AM] Me: lol
[10:24:41 AM] Me: sorry =\
[10:25:06 AM] Victim #2: it’s okay–my heart needed a bit of a jump start today, and I believe you have given me one like none other!
[10:25:08 AM] Victim #2: haha
[10:25:17 AM] Me: lol

[10:22:37 AM] Victim #3: I just want to pully my hair out
[10:22:47 AM] Me: why?
[10:22:58 AM] Victim #3: I’m just having a shitty day
[10:23:10 AM] Victim #3: This morning my boys just wouldn’t stop screaming
[10:23:17 AM] Victim #3: Now I’m just in a shitty mood.
[10:23:26 AM] Victim #3: I have tons of homework to do - but no motivation to do it.
[10:24:01 AM] Me: call your mom
[10:24:05 AM] Me: tell her you love her
[10:24:11 AM] Me: i never got to =\
[10:24:22 AM] Victim #3: I already did this morning
[10:24:25 AM] Victim #3: Did your mom die?
[10:24:32 AM] Me: killed herself last night
[10:24:44 AM] Victim #3: Okay - this damn well better be an April Fools joke
[10:24:50 AM] Victim #3: Cuz that just made my day even worse
[10:24:52 AM] Victim #3: :-((
[10:25:01 AM] Me: your days worse?
[10:25:04 AM] Me: ah
[10:25:05 AM] Me: okay.
[10:25:32 AM] Victim #3: Are you serious?
[10:26:14 AM] Me: yea, the whole family is laughing now
[10:27:25 AM] Me: you know what’s worse?
[10:27:31 AM] Victim #3: What?
[10:27:38 AM] Me: my ex said she’s preggy
[10:27:41 AM] Me: and it’s mine
[10:27:48 AM] Me: not today, just not today, god
[10:28:03 AM] Victim #3: I don’t know whether to take you seriously or not
[10:28:47 AM] Me: fuck
[10:28:49 AM] Me: you suck
[10:29:00 AM] Me: who pranked you today?
[10:29:02 AM] Victim #3: No one
[10:29:07 AM] Victim #3: I haven’t left the house
[10:29:12 AM] Me: yea
[10:29:15 AM] Me: mom’s still alive
[10:08:22 AM] Me: =\
[10:08:28 AM] Victim #4: ?
[10:08:40 AM] Me: i found our the girls i slept with a few months bad
[10:08:43 AM] Me: is pregnate
[10:08:49 AM] Me: =\
[10:09:07 AM] Victim #4: O_O
[10:09:18 AM] Victim #4: omg does she know who the father is?
[10:09:33 AM] Me: she said me
[10:09:53 AM] Victim #4: [10:09:58 AM] Victim #4: iim sorry,
[10:10:30 AM] Me: she said she was a virgin
[10:10:50 AM] Victim #4: could she has slept with someone shortly therafter you?
[10:13:44 AM] Me: she told me no =\
[10:15:42 AM] Me: OH SHIT
[10:15:44 AM] Victim #4: ask for a dna test
[10:15:44 AM] Me: OH SHIT
[10:15:46 AM] Me: OH SHIT
[10:15:56 AM] Me: she said she test HIV positive
[10:16:09 AM] Victim #4: does that man…>WQEewrfms?!!q
[10:16:24 AM] Me: what you think it means?
[10:17:11 AM] Victim #4: you have it too? maybe? idunno, i was neveer really educated of std or sex, the closest my health book got was “dont date unless youa re ready for a serious relationshp”
[10:17:22 AM] Victim #4: ::kills the baptist text books::
[10:17:33 AM] Me: i have to get tested =\
[10:17:47 AM] Victim #4: [10:18:16 AM] Victim #4: but i left you a long ramling message on your answering machine last night
[10:18:25 AM] Victim #4: so thats a plus
[10:21:49 AM] Me: thanks.
[10:22:05 AM] Me: i wonder what’s better
[10:22:08 AM] Me: life or death
[10:23:57 AM] Victim #4: I think life is this is just an obstical. if it turns out that the baby is yours, then you get the oy of being a dad to a little boy or girl, if its a boy you can teach him how to hack into computors with the best of them if its a girl you and grill every guy she dates. and \you can say “no dating until your 23″
[10:25:58 AM] Me: yea, that’s pretty funny there.
[10:25:59 AM] Me: thanks
[10:27:38 AM] Victim #4: n but really i cant imagine a greater joy in life to know you helped bring another human to this world
[10:28:16 AM] Me: oh yea
[10:28:26 AM] Me: being HIV positive and having a child that could die
[10:28:37 AM] Victim #4: h
[10:28:41 AM] Victim #4: i forgot about that
[10:28:43 AM] Victim #4: :-\
[10:29:26 AM] Victim #4: know what..im going to shut up ill just say something stupid again
[10:30:28 AM] Me: no
[10:30:34 AM] Me: you know what’s worse, love?
[10:30:50 AM] Victim #4: …what?
[10:30:55 AM] Me: APRIL FOOLS
[10:30:57 AM] Victim #4: tr efjdvgjh
[10:31:00 AM] Victim #4: fuck you
[10:31:06 AM] Me: you love me, and you know it
[10:31:09 AM] Victim #4: no
[10:31:12 AM] Victim #4: fuck you
[10:31:14 AM] Me: lol

I don’t do crule jokes like that usually, but they know me, so I thought it would be a great gag.