Try this pickup line
By Ali Karbassi | March 6th, 2005 | RandomA co-worker, and friend of mine, Matt, sent me a pm that got me thinking.
[10:35:45 PM] Matt: Man, you should try this pickup line
[10:35:47 PM] Matt: THE CIA IS AFTER MY PENIS!
[10:35:51 PM] Matt: I need a place to hide it!
[10:45:25 PM] Me: LOL
So I try this on my friend Caity. I wondered what she would say to something like that coming from me.
[10:45:35 PM] Me: hey baby
[10:45:42 PM] Me: <pick up line time>
[10:45:47 PM] Me: HE CIA IS AFTER MY PENIS!
[10:45:49 PM] Caity: …
[10:45:51 PM] Me: I need a place to hide it!
[10:45:56 PM] Caity: lol
[10:46:00 PM] Caity: yeah..me too
[10:46:03 PM] Me: HA HA
[10:46:12 PM] Me: i’ll hide your penis if you hide mine
[10:46:22 PM] Caity: teehee..sure[10:46:41 PM] Me: lol.. good times.
[10:46:53 PM] Caity: *chuckle*
Oh teeheehee! I made it on the page! I’ve got the best lines ever! “Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I’m kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you’re giving me your number because I’m too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other’s friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you’re stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I’m careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That’s just too sad. Think about the children. For God’s sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let’s just keep it sexual, because we both know where it’s going.”
Wow what a quality pickup line… if that actually works for someone I will… shit I dont even know, thats not even possible. Good try Matt.